Warning: The following Countdown contains Strong Languages. Readers Discretion is advised
Hey everyone, my name is Anthony and welcome back to the countdowns.
Well, looks like we’re finally done with 2022 movies, as well as the year itself, good lord…!
And let me tell you, 2022 is a complete ClusterFuck we’re having, ranging from Russian Dictator attacking Ukraine because he’s begging for money, people making a marching convoy with trucks and rednecks, because they’re too busy for being selfish for mandatory vaccination, Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau being Trudeau, a FIFA taken place in Qatar is a complete mess, Mr. McMahon self-destructed for his harassment, Netflix destroying itself but still going somehow, Elon Musk being a billionaire retarded for screwing over Twitter and AI Generated Arts is killing drawing businesses. Meanwhile, as a fan of Formula 1, it was a roller coaster ride from good, bad and ugly moments, but that’s a different story, aside of being canned of my F1 moments due to my computer got crashed.
What about the movies in this year?
Well, its a unique year what to say, we have a big movie that earned Billion dollars, and some are flopped from good film that got ruined from box-office’s performance or a bad movie deserves to be flopped. But of course, there’s also some are horrible like BatGirl got canceled because Warner Bros Discovery’s CEO David Zaslav making poor excuses and couple others if you have other bad things in movie industries, let me know in the comment bellow.
Aside of all of those, I have seen plenty of movies, but much like last year, I’ve watching plenty of them from streaming to bought the recent films digitally or even DVD/Blu-Ray. In other words, its another isolated year of reviewing movies in 2022 in my house, but I’ve watched plenty more movies than 2021. So this means, im bringing back my two-parts countdown of bad and good movies, but im starting with bad ones.
In this countdown, I picked 5 bad movies, 4 of them that I watched from disappointed to bad and I picked one of them that I have to mention, which I never seen a whole, but seen clips and hear or reading stories. Yup, I will including the latter of which that I never seen this movie, but have to including that I left myself questions. These are the movies that are so bad that they have to be mentioned, both disappointment to bad.
So, this is my Top 5 WORST movies in 2022.
Lets get started, shall we?
Number 5: Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness
Lets start it off that while it has a potential of both Dr. Strange and Multiverse, but ended fall flat.
We have been waited for so long to see a fascinating movie where Dr. Strange is looking after Multiverse after the big success of Spider-Man: No Way Home. When it comes to the story, its rather too complex to going forth, mainly where rather than Dr. Strange learning about Multiverse, but rather protecting a young girl America Chavez who has the ability to transporting in different universe, but without realizing when Wanda Maximoff is going evil by… Going after her alternative self for her kids, I mean I get Vision’s death really haunting herself, as well her grief based on what happened to her in “Wandavision”, it may sounds good idea for the plot developments in theory, but sometimes they got too complex to follow, making the writing of this movie is poorly done for both story and the characters, as well as some presentation kinda have some issues.
But the reason why its on lower list is that, while they focused is too much about Multiverse, it has some new ideas what they gave us from fun actions, some of characters are a big surprise to have their debut and some cameos that we’re familiar, whether they’re from MCU that you easily recognized, some for the build up from future projects and some that are not from MCU, il give a credit what they going for and pretty good presentation from our old friend Sam Raimi from unique effects and Raimi’s camera work direction like we’ve seen from Evil Dead to Spider-Man.
While it has potential to give us a journey to Multiverse, but it felt flat for just being disappointing from poorly writing from story to characters’ written, its the most disappointing film that was done by Sam Raimi himself, which is why its on Number 5 spot.
Number 4: Thor: Love and Thunder
If I expected the 4th one to maybe a promising sequel after breaking over trilogy, I just wish Thor stays in trilogy like Iron Man and Captain America.
Out of all MCU films in this year, this is easily the most disappointing.
First of all, the story is the most anime-est cliché movie ever for the “Power of Love!” for superhero movie like MCU, I mean its easily to exposing the film’s obvious cliché, but if the execution would’ve work for some of the characters, whether Thor is having a midlife-crisis to Jane Foster suffered a terminal cancer to holding Mjolnir as Mighty Thor. Speaking of the latter, its pretty nice to see her again in the movie what she should’ve been in the third one, but here, they brought her back, probably at the wrong time that they have to do the same in the comic where she has cancer before holding a mighty hammer as “Mighty Thor”. But of course, some of the characters are supposed to showing up to help Thor and his friends, but they’re pretty much wasted, especially with Guardians of the Galaxy, which Thor is meant to be the new member of the guardians, but they just threw out of window after the ending of Endgame.
The production is sorta mixed that it looks pretty good for what they accomplished at first, but sometimes pretty flawed. But in fairness, at least the quality and some the action scenes are pretty good in MCU standards. And some of the jokes are good, which sometimes its an easy chuckle, but some didn’t turned out.
But one is a saving grace, is the memorable villain of Gorr the Butcher God, he’s one of the most devious, disturbing and probably the most violent villain in MCU for his goal to kidnapping kids of New Asgard, however, despite we enjoy Gorr, but his disturbance and violence, they have to tone it down for PG-rated movie, it really sucks for that, but its kinda understandable, but at least Christian Bale did a great job to playing the villain much like his role in “American Psycho”.
Overall, its easily the most disappointing that it will be unlikely when they’ll gonna have a 5th installment of Taika’s possibly bowing out from Thor’s 5th film and Chris Hemsworth had a health concern due to possibly having an Alzheimer disease much like his grandpa had, meaning he’s gonna be gone to take a break for his family to hopefully he’ll be in good shape to coming back or not.
Number 3: Paws of Fury: The legend of Hank
Oh yeah, now we’re getting into the podium of Shit show, my friends.
Since they started developing this movie for over a decade, you this Mel Brooks inspired movie in order to get attention to marked it as a “Family Friendly” version of Blazing Saddles? The answer is you gave is one of the most BORING UNFUNNY animated movie I’ve ever watched!
While the animation is passable, for the most part, one character Sumo is likable for some good jokes and some casts did nice works, cause I know its their job for their memorable performances.
But sadly, the casts are nowhere safe from this borefest, the writing is badly done, the story is just too safe that has no meaning a message from Blazing Saddles, the jokes are barely jokes because they made it “Too Safe”, some animation is flawed (even though, again, its passable) and the characters are barely likable in order to invest them.
This movie is clearly one of those hopeless project they pretty much wasting their times and the money for developing for over decade, I mean, what’s the point for having this film for having a crunch time and ended with what we have here?! I mean this movie would’ve work that it came out in millennium, not in 20-freakin’-22!
Its boring, its unfunny and its a complete hopeless film for cashing in over Mel Brooks’ classic film…!
Number 2: Morbius
Oh boy, now we’re getting into Marvel’s bottom of the barrel of the worst one ever for what Sony is trying to.
Long story short at first, you maybe surprised that I’ve never watch nor even reviewing this movie, but the reason why I bring this up is Sony’s questionable action with this Marvel’s abominated movie (no pun attended).
“So what’s happening to the movie itself?”, you asked, well, based on reading the story and even watching clips, this movie is just very bad with dumb writing, poor quality of its presentation, forgettable characters, trying to connecting with Disney’s MCU but failed miserably, some of the casts deserves better than being in this movie like Jared Leto (for the second time of being in bad superhero movie since Joker in Suicide Squad) and even former10th Doctor Matt Smith. Which yes, when I checked those clips, its that bad, like really bad to watch or worse, trying to building this one into Sony’s own MCU after their double success with Venom, but for Morbius, not only its a horrible movie, it got bombed at the box-office.
But what makes this movie into Number 2 spot, is Sony’s questionable idea to bring it back to the big screen. After the movie pulled out from the theater for how bad it is, the movie kinda became a “So bad its good” movie with the meme “Its Morbin’ time!” (the obvious parody like of “Its Morphin” time!” from Power Rangers), Sony saw this as an opportunity that they’re going like;
Executive: Hey sir, since this meme is uniquely interesting, why not bring this movie back to the theaters to make more money because of the meme?
CEO: Ok, lets bring this movie back to one thousands theaters, hopefully to make a second attempt at the box office!
But by the time they re-released this movie, because of the obvious meme, but guess what? It got Flopped, AGAIN!
Yeah by this point, its not gonna work for their second attempt in order to regain the reaction and money for making another movie, but its not helping that its a terrible movie, cause if you re-releasing your flopped movie, your money will be suffered that you’ll be in financial crisis. And somehow, Sony just got away in no problem despite their stupidity!
I would’ve picked this one into Number 1, but I had to put on Number 2, because at least I’ve never seen this shitty ass movie, so what kind of shitty movie managed to earn the Number 1 spot against Morbius for my movie reviewing career? Lets find out…!
And now… The Number 1 worst movie in 2022 goes to…!!
Number 1: Pinocchio 2022
You know this one’s coming, don’t you?
Out of all of Disney remakes that Disney milked so much (except for Favreau’s The Jungle Book, its a great one, as always), this is easily the worst remake they’ve ever gave us on Disney+.
While I sorta appreciating to have Robert Zemeckis to “trying” to make his own, but instead, its just like any unnecessary remakes, but its not the passed Zemeckis that he used to gave us a great movies, im talking THAT Zemeckis, you know, where he cared soo much about visuals and effects rather than telling us the story or investing the characters, the CG is just too much to watch that he could’ve just make a similar realistic animation remake like the Shitty shot-for-shot remake of The Lion King from 2019, instead, Pinocchio shows up by saying “Hold my beer” to make it even worse than 2019’s The Lion King (it may sounds guilty I've ever called, but at least the visuals and some new elements are ok).
While its nice for the effects for the most part, but again, the CG is too much from beginning to end, along with hideous characters in CG forms like Jiminy Crocket, Honest John, Gideon the cat, Figaro and even freakin’ Monstro the horrible Kaiju design, its both ugly and nearly scary to look at, which makes it nearly unwatchable what they designed, except for Pinocchio himself, at least he’s fine. But lets not forget the effects, though sometimes they’re ok, but then they got unfitted like Blue Fairy’s wings as well as Pleasure Island itself, the latter of which that I appreciated this park itself, but again, the CG is the focus of the film’s budget.
But what about the stories and the characters, do they save themselves for the rest of the movies?
None… There is none…
The story is similar from the original version, but I will give a credit for new elements like Geppetto’s grief over his dead son and having a new puppet for comforting Pinocchio, but they’re nowhere safe for having good idea in this movie, not to mention, the story is pretty much a rushed job that rather than catch a break at some moments in the original, but they just going into a near fast-pace without you know, catching a fucking break!
Not to mention, while some casts are doing a good work of their roles like Tom Hanks, the young Benjamin Evan Ainsoworth and Cynthia Erivo, but the characters, while Pinocchio himself is ok what they pulled, but all the characters are badly portrayed from Geppetto being an idiot, Blue Fairy acts like she came something straight out of Shrek movies, Honest John is obnoxiously overacting and Jiminy being unfunny for helping out Pinocchio.
This remake is a complete Joke, first class JOKE of all the remakes that Disney or anybody liked to cashing on, this movie is so bad that it has ZERO reason to be remade, while some that Il give a small credit, but everything else is just so bad that I hate this remake so much for wasting my time as a subscriber of Disney+ for god’s sake…! Otherwise, if you’re looking a GOOD Pinocchio movie, stick the 1940’s classic or heck, how about watch Guillermo Del Toro’s stopmotion version, even though im no longer a Netflix subscriber, but at least this stopmotion Pinocchio is a lot better than what I’ve been suffered with this.
And this is why I considered 2022 Pinocchio is not only the Shittiest remake I’ve ever seen, but also the Number 1 worst movie in 2022 I’ve ever seen…!
So this ends of this countdown, tune it next time that il do the countdown of the GOOD movies, and I got 12 of them.
Thanks for reading, im Anthony, signing out and Merry Christmas to you all.
